Don't be a Doggy Nihilist

Originally posted 01/08/2022

This week on ‘What goes on in the dog trainer’s head’: 

What is the best formula to create a really, really, REALLY bad dog?

What a strange question!

Why would any dog owner want to create a really, really, REALLY bad dog?

I’m being sarcastic, of course.  No owner wants a bad dog...but so many of you out there have absolutely perfected the formula to create one.

And when a dog trainer gives you the counter-formula to undo the damage you’ve done, you push back  - sputtering excuses, professing hurt feelings, saying you don't have time to put in the work, or questioning the very advice & answers that would help you and your dog…

...All because you don’t like what we're telling you.

Sound harsh?

Well, let’s take a look at reality.

Here are some actual quotes from Dog Trainers’ notes, after their first training session/evaluation with real owners - owners who report desperately wanting to improve their dogs' behavior:

“…this dog has not been given any boundaries, and walks all over his people - demanding attention, jumping up, counter surfing, etc.”

“This dog NEEDS more training, firm boundaries, and leadership… “

“This dog has WAY too much freedom.” 

“Very little boundaries or expectations for this pup.”

“This dog does not seem to have a whole lot of boundaries at home and owner seems to be very inconsistent.”

“[Dog] is very pushy and aggressive towards other dogs, especially on leash; has little to no boundaries right now…”

“He is a very smart cookie, but needs firm boundaries.”

“She needs some very clear boundaries…”

“…this dog needs clear leadership and boundaries…” 

“It is clear this boy has had no boundaries/rules for his 2 years of life.”

I could go on and on, but you get the picture.  And I’m sure you notice the pattern.

The Perfect Formula for creating a neurotic, or reactive, or aggressive, or generally pushy, unruly & unbalanced (or all of the above) dog is…

An utter lack of consistent, clear rules, boundaries, and leadership from YOU.

Dear Dog Owners – you can’t have it both ways. 

You can’t have a dog with no boundaries or rules, who is ALSO well behaved.

You can’t have a dog who bolts through doors, steals food from the counters, snacks out of the litterbox, jumps on you and your guests, guards his bedding (or yours!), pulls on the leash, steals your socks, destroys your couches, or rugs, or other valuables, and completely ignores you and everything you say - and then expect that same dog to behave beautifully out in public, or when visitors arrive.

Dogs NEED rules and boundaries to be mentally sound and stable.  Even more, they need rules to fully enjoy their lives with us.

There seems to be a great deal of discomfort and denial for dog owners regarding this simple truth.

Time and time again, we have clients come to us seeking help, but when we tell them that they need to give their dogs boundaries, they resist mightily.

Don't believe me?  Here are a few more actual quotes from owners:

"I don't actually care if he's perfect on the leash.  I just want him to stop lunging at other dogs."  

"I can't live with my dog the way you trainers live with yours.  It seems so strict.  I actually like that he barks at people.  It means he'll protect me.  I just don't want him to bark at everyone." 

"But [biting dog's name] is our baby.  We can't kick him off the bed!" <~~~ from an owner whose husband is now sleeping on the couch because the dog won't allow him in the bed with her.  I can't make this stuff up.

"I don't see how teaching him to behave in the house is going to help him out on walks."

These are the same owners who don't see the connection between the dog who who jumps up on them, demanding attention whenever it wants (attention the owners then unfailingly deliver), and the dog who has such extreme separation anxiety it has to be heavily medicated when they leave the house for even a few minutes.

Or the connection between the dog who ignores them completely at home when they tell it to stop jumping up, barking, counter surfing, dumpster diving, and doing whatever else it pleases... and the same dog who also doesn't listen - pulling, barking, and lunging aggressively at everyone they see on a walk.

When did having (and following) consistent rules become such a bad thing?  Isn't your own life full of rules that keep things running smoothly?  

Think of how many times a day we all follow simple traffic rules - and imagine the chaos if we didn't!

The reality of life is that rules are a vital part of the game.  From driving, to getting in line and ordering your morning coffee at Starbuck's - you know the rules and you follow them, and for the most part, you don't even notice or think about them! 

But when it comes to giving their dogs similar, simple rules, too many owners seem to think it's the cruelest form of punishment.

If you have no basic rules...if you allow your dog to do whatever it wants, whenever it wants...then you cannot expect the same dog to know how to behave when things get interesting, exciting, scary, or new!

The dog who knows the rules also earns the privileges of being in our company more.  

The dog who doesn't know or have rules is the dog who has to be locked away when guests come to visit, never knows the joy of a safe off-leash romp, gets left behind when the family goes on a hike, or is simply being scolded all the time for just being a dog in a human world.

Quite frankly, you owe it to your dog to at least teach them the rules of how to play the game of life in our confusing, inconsistent world.  

Otherwise, you are setting yourself and your dog up for a lot of failure, confusion, and disappointment.

So, before you immediately protest when a dog trainer suggests you implement some simple rules like not allowing the dog to bolt through doors, or lead you on walks, or having some structure around affection, play and eating routines - think about why they are suggesting these rules, and what benefits you and your dog might reap if you tried them.

Jennifer Hime is the Owner & Dog Training Director at Front Range K9 Academy in Wheat Ridge, CO.  She has been training dogs professionally since 1990. Jennifer can be reached at:  k9counselor.com